Draft of new novel

I've been working hard on finishing a new novel. There's usually a place I come to when working very intensely that is very one-pointed in terms of concentration. I'm dreaming about the novel, thinking about the novel, seeing scenes from the novel, hearing sentences from the novel, emailing myself emails about the novel about things to include when I happen to be at the grocery store or walking in the woods. Then I realize that it is so all-consuming that I'm irritable around people, and that is when I know I need to take a break. So, I'm on a break.

The whole book is beginning to feel very complete - the form has come together in a way that I couldn't have anticipated, but that I feel very good about. It's about two writers - one of whom is struggling to be content in his life outside of writing, to perhaps learn to put writing down, another of whom has been so consumed by being some author that she's become unhealthy, lost, sick. It is about whether art makes us healthier and wiser or sicker and more solipsistic. I've enjoyed working on it for a year. A draft is complete now, but I feel like it won't be fully "finished" for another six months to a year. It's longer than I was anticipating - 90K words. I'd like it to be 75K words, which means I'll need to cut a lot of it.

It begins with several epigraphs. One is from William Styron's memoir about his depression. I read a lot of books about mental health in order to write the book, some of which were Darkness Visible by William Styron, One Fine Day in April by Donald Antrim, The Collected Schizophrenias by Esme Wang, and Anatomy of an Epidemic by Robert Whitaker. Then I read several books about psychology, namely Jung's The Undiscovered Self and a book about the intersection of Zen and psychology called Nothing is Hidden, both of which were illuminating reads. After reading several books about psychology, part of me wishes I'd been a counselor/therapist rather than a writer/teacher, but then I enjoy writing so much. 

I'm taking a break from the novel now. I probably take small peaks at it over the next couple weeks, seeing if I like sentences and paragraphs and sections, but I won't do a big dive back in until mid-July. 

As of now it's called The Second Self.