old school

1. i stood in the hallway, waiting for students to complete an evaluation about me. i had a book and stood against the wall reading. somebody was talking in a nearby office, another teacher, i realized, talking to a girl. i glanced in the room and saw only him, reclined in his chair, white hair and white beard, severely overweight. i stepped back to my corner. he was saying, "I can look at any girl in our class and tell if they've had sex. I can look at any girl in our class and tell if she's had oral sex. Do you see what I mean?" the girl laughed, crazily and nervously. "What I mean is," the teacher said, "what I have is insight. You have to get that into your speech." then he began talking about her speech, telling her that it was her lack of insight which accounted for her poor grade. then he dismissed her.

2. a friend told me that when she grew up, she went to a catholic school. the nuns told all the girls, from ages 8 to 12 that they weren't allowed to eat hot dogs, bananas, or eggs in front of boys.